Using the best dating apps has become second nature to us now, in our increasingly busy, tech-savvy day-to-day. It’s not just about finding true love: swiping left and right or up and down has become a genuine leisure activity – a way to while away a few spare minutes while we wait for the lift at work or avoid talking to our Uber driver.

But do you ever wonder what the dating app you’re on says about you, or the people you meet on them? Some apps are so specialist, so niche, you can almost guess what their devotees will be like before you log in. If your dating app was a real person, would you date it? Would you be it? Imagine if you could take a dating app out for a drink – what would it actually be like?

Badoo

Badoo is the sleeper-hit of dating apps – the Mad Max to Tinder’s Titanic. Statistically, it’s the largest dating app in the world, with over 350 million users, but the kicker is it’s not strictly a dating app – it bills itself as a network for friends you’ve not made yet, connecting you with other users nearby for whatever reason you like. But let’s face it, there’s only ever one reason. Badoo is the nice guy from accounts you could see yourself marrying one day, were it not for the fact that you thought he was married already. He has Pinterest boards, phones his mother at lunchtime and apologises profusely by saying “I apologise profusely”. But his bedposts have been whittled away to kindling.

Tinder

An earnest clean-shirt who lives in a luxury apartment (this means it has a dishwasher) above a Tesco Express and sacrifices a food group – usually protein – to pay for the extortionate rent. Læs resten →